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Tuesday, January 31, 2006  
New Computer...it's a Dell XPS. I superloaded it. It was amazingly easy to get online using someone else's unprotected wireless service. I feel bad, like a pirate but not as romantic. I did make sure to ensure my stuff is encrypted before jumping onto this unsecured account. But it's weird to be "using" someone else like that. Although, in my defense, I did use my very first breath of wire time to order my own dsl online. I have a wireless router. I'm totally shocked at how fast it is. This is my first time owning a laptop AND having wireless access. I dig.

Today is my interview with the city. Next Monday I start the job I was offered last week with a private company. I negotiated my terms. I feel good about it. If I don't get a job with the city or the county, I know I have a very nice office to go to with really good, easy going people, who made me feel like a spectacular interviewer and as I well know this is not normally the case. Usually I'm a spazzzzz.

I need to drive out to my parentals again today to pick up my diplomas. I have learned from previous experiences that I need to bring these sorts of things and I never remember until the last minute.

Beanie is sleeping still. I took pics of PF and Beanie crashed out side by side. Soooo adorable. They snore the same.

~Amelie, Coffee Time

11:06 AM

Sunday, January 29, 2006  
Okay, I just wanted to say I think the sage worked. That and Seamas is over now. And I drank some wine to steady my nerves. No weird noises unless you count the dishwasher that ate my breast pump. My house smells like an herbalist's smokehouse, if you catch my meaning, and I keep finding bits of ashes, which I smear on the beanie like good ol' ash wednesday.

I find myself wondering about the insanely blood red carpeting and why it covers the ENTIRE PLACE, even the bathroom, where there is perfectly good tile. I don't want to know or for anyone to tell me that someone died bloodily in my new place, because I love the view, I'm just sayin. It's a lot of blood red carpet. Which is an odd choice for any decorative motif.

Ah well. PF is coming HOME. He's coming HOME tonight. Tomorrow he can help me herd the cats that eluded me today, and tonight we are going to eat fresh crab.

Today I saw an engraved license plate holder that said "My Kids Are Smarter Then Yours" (sic) and I laughed. Hard. Because while I make mistakes, they are not engraved in metal and bolted onto my car. Lordy.

~Amelie, Crabbier Than You

4:18 PM

Saturday, January 28, 2006  
Two nights in my new place with just me and the Beanie. I've missed Seamas and the PF terribly. I even miss my gigakitties. Thing is, I feel like someone is watching me in that place. I had a terrible bad dream Thursday night, but sort of chalked it up to "new place" syndrome (don't correct me if there isn't a syndrome of that nature, I need there to be one right now.) The dream was followed by icky feelings all day, weird noises like things falling in empty rooms, cat scratching sounds from the couch even though I have not brought my cats yet. The electric is weird; a Glade plug-in exploded and so did the hall light when I went to answer knocks at the door and no one was there. Yeah. And the deck storage unit door was flung open even though it's hard to open, and was swinging in the nonexistent breeze on Friday morning very early. I also am getting the biggest willies from Beanie laughing at the blank wall and looking over my shoulder like someone just walked up behind me. When I was giving her a bath last night I felt like someone touched my neck. I'm just waiting for the voices that will send me scampering like a lily livered coward. Yeah, everything can be "explained away", but it doesn't help that I have the sinking pit feeling in my stomach that something is not quite normal. And I get excited about potentially haunted houses; but right now? All I want is to feel like I can take a dump in my own bathroom without something touching the back of my neck, thank you very much.

So, do I finally get to live in a spooky house? I dunno. However, it's pissing me off big time, because we pay a lot of rent and signed a year long lease. So I got some white sage (according to the people at East West Books, this is the way to clean out bad energy.) I also picked up some buddhist stickers that according to a feng shui chick, will protect areas I put them in. I picked out one with a buddha and one with a bunch of people in a boat.

I think it's just a factor of moving someplace new and by myself and with my baby. However, I've moved a dozen times and not had any of these weird prickles-on-the-back-of-my-neck-someone-is-oppressively-staring-at-me feelings.

I really hope the smoke detectors do not go off when I burn this stuff.

~Amelie, White Sage Woman

1:22 PM

Wednesday, January 25, 2006  
More moving today. PF stayed in Sacto to help me move the last of our big stuff. The only thing left that is too big for me to transport in a volvo is the table at my sister's place.

This move is definitely easier than the last few moves I've made. I think it's because I've thrown out half the stuff that is "mine". Now it's all about the beanie and things that are "ours." I literally have only books and clothes and an armoire and a tv. That's it, pretty much. But mein gott. It's hard to move.

I hate it. And PF still needs to bring the bulk of his stuff from SF. That will drive him nuts, he hates moving just as much as I do. Still. It's worth it.

Oh yeah. And I got that fun job. We'll see if it's really something I want to do. I'm still open to suggestions, of course. It will eventually mean loads of travel to other countries. Can you imagine? Me? The grrl who dreams about faraway lands and never goes because she's always working or too poor? Having to go FOR WORK??? Where they pay me to travel? It's worth it just for that. I wonder if you can bring your family on extended trips? Although I don't think PF wants to go to Brazil anytime in the near future...But Beanies are cute even south of the equator.

Moving is taking my brain power. I ran a red light today and got honked at. I feel light headed like I didn't eat, but I made sure to eat enough and had water and hot tea with dinner. I dunno. I still feel woozy. Could be stress, could be not enough sleep.

Whatever happens, we are going to rent Domino tonight.

~Amelie, In Your Pocket

7:23 PM

Sunday, January 22, 2006  
I spent the whole day out at my new place. I was putting stuff away in the kitchen. I had the patio door open and the front door open. It was 64 degrees in the house without even trying (no electricity yet.) The day was balmy. The geese were honking out on the lake. The sun was shining. The air was fresh and clean.

Nothing was wrong. Blissful. Harmonious. Joy. Clean house. All was right with the world.

I finished my shelf stocking and dish drying, packed up my things, and locked up. I got all the way out to the car before I realized I did not have the keys. I ran back up, searched, but no luck. I resigned myself to hunting through the dumpster where I'd been tossing all my garbage bags and broken down boxes. I'm not ashamed of saying I am quite capable of chucking out car keys. I pulled bags out of bags and boxes out of boxes, squishing around, feeling, digging. Remember, this complex allows dogs. So there I am, squishing and blindly feeling, and I find a baggie that is heavy enough to be my keys. Without thinking, I shake it and squish it. It took me about 15 seconds (which, in this case, is a long ass time) of jostling and squishing, my hands wrestling with piles of garbage buried in a dumpster, to register that it was a baggie chock full of pasty hot dog turd that I was squashing thoughtfully.


About then I gave up and was going to call Bill, except that my phone was also, by this time, dead. So I went up to my elecricity deficient apartment and started to panic. I could literally feel my blood sugar bottoming out. But it didn't, I just felt sick like when it does.

And I decided to search the bins I'd stacked in the storage closet. So I went through those in the dark.

Lo, there were my keys at the bottom of a storage bin that I could swear I wiped out and dried and sealed minus any additions.

I think there are little blue people living in my new house.

~Amelie, Afraid of the Turdy Dumpster

9:08 PM

It's 2 AMish

I just google earthed my new apartment. It's on a man made artificial lake that looks really pretty at night and even prettier in the daytime. I cannot believe I just said that about a manmade lake.

And then I google earthed Groom Lake, NV which gives you nada. And Rachel, NV and Crystal Springs, NV, which also give you nothing. And then I traced 90 miles or so north east of LV and found a weird spot that is colored in about the shape of the FAS site's satellite images of area 51's runways.

Everyone does this. I know that. Still.

FYI, Poinsettia is not even in the system. Good to know. You could potentially hide out and no satellite will ever want to find you.

~Amelie, Needs An Alien To Cuddle

2:05 AM

Friday, January 20, 2006  
I think I have a new jobbo. It's not definite, and I'm not saying I would stay with this company depending on how much they want to pay, but there is potential for a ROCK ASS JOB. Barring the fact that I want a lot of money, lots more than they are probably used to paying people to start with them, but then, I have more degrees and experience than they are used to hiring right off the bat, so I'm worth it. Non? Oui? Of course wheeeeee. So anyway, the reason I think I will be offered this potentially amazingly fun job, the first truly fun job I will have ever worked if I take it if it's offered, is because the owner wanted to show me this sculpture his best friend sent me of my favorite city. And he couldn't find it on his desk and said "okay, I'll show it to you next time." Which is a dead giveaway, because he told me he'd let me know by Monday by phone. Still. I may just be getting my hopes up. And I don't even know if they'd make it worth my while, but like I said, they didn't flinch at my pay history, which is comfortable to start, and that's cheaper than most people with my bills and background would want to take. Therefore, my fingers are xed. I'd take less maybe, since my UI is running out, because this job? It's really amazing. I found out more about it this round of interviews and I think my eyeballs lit up shiny like I was high on coke. Still. I cannot just start over at some dismally low salary, so I can't allow myself to go too far down; the beanie does need her rice ceral now and again...

In other mews, I heard a catfight while I was reading American Gods. I rushed outside because I thought I heard a girrly Churchillbabykiki scream. And lo, I swear, I am 85% positive that the grey cat tail that disappeared into the abyss that is the garage belonged to none other than the wayward Mr. Churchill Kitty, who fell off the roof over 2 weeks ago. He must be living off dust bunnies or garage rodents because he looked skinnier than his usual freak kitty self, but then again, all I saw was a flash of silvery haunch and puffy upset tail. So. I guess my parents won themselves a nice newly feral silver Russian Blue kitty, because I'll be damned if I know how to get him back indoors now that he's been evading capture and the pathetic weepy calling over the moors that is my echoing sadness. I cannot believe that cat let me be so pathetic for so long. I have been to animal control, down on the bluffs, signs are up all along this stretch of our main street, and I actually cried for him, thinking how dead and sad and eaten he was. Nope. He's just gone wild in the garage.

I feel better now.

Edited to include some pix of Beanie discovering Ikea products.

~Amelie, Catatonic

9:50 PM

Thursday, January 19, 2006  
Hey! I am back. In black.

Things I do not ever want to have to do again in this lifetime: Drive alone with a breastfeeding baby in a rental car for 9 hours. Yes folks, it takes 9.75, count them N-I-N-E PUNTO SIETE CINCO hours to drive with a small infant of 4.5 months driving 75 MPH in a small blue American-made car that shakes over 70, to get to LA, CA. If that was a fucking remedial math question, I would have aced the class. See, it's a trick question, because you have to account for time spent on odd little tasks, like: stop and nurse the baby; walk through Walgreens while she poops so you can get into a bathroom with a changing table, and other fun things that you can't do on the road alone but CAN technically do if someone else is driving.

Other thing I do not ever want to do again alone: Drive back in rain and traffic in a 26 year old volvo sedan. I kept thinking "what the fuck is in my eye?" Oh. The headliner is disintegrating. Ah ha! Fuckin' A I ROCK ASS. It only took me 100 miles to figure out that mystery.

Still. Now I have a car to drive. Tomorrow I have a second interview. I have a new place to live. My kid and I survived the trip and got to visit lovely friends and familia. And I am only slightly worse for wear. And the 26 YO Volvo, surprisingly enough, got better gas mileage than the 1 YO Chevy Aveo. Call me crazy, but I was astounded. Granted, it was only about 1/2 a mile extra per gal, but HELLO, WHEN A TWENTY SIX YEAR OLD VOLVO TANKMOBILE can beat a 1 YEAR OLD CHEVROLET MADE OUT OF DANDER AND TWIGS, you know there is something wrong with American cars. I'm just sayin.

I is a tired grrl.

Tomorrow, interview, and move. This will be a very busy weekend.

When are they not??

~Amelie, Clicked Her Heels, No Place Like Sacramento.

8:26 PM

Monday, January 16, 2006  
Had a nice weekend. Went to a Zodiac Soup Party, which is a blend of wonderful winter soup brought potluck that represent your horoscope as you identify it and is held around Chinese New Year. This year is Year of the Dog. PF said I should bring dog soup to be authentic. I took Hungarian Potato soup. It smells a bit like wet dog due to the vinegar, but tastes amazing.

Went to grrls night last night. Didn't do the slumber party thing because my right boob about exploded and I needed to go home and find my little kid. I managed to eat a LOT of spinach dip and turkey chili with all the fixins and drink two fat tire ales before throwing myself on a couch. But I did manage to explain the dirty sanchez, rusty trombone and cleveland steamer to my girlfriends who laughed their filthy asses off. Another friend told me about some woman she used to work with who could "kiss" people with her anus. I guess it was all about dirty, goofy stuff last night. But the anal kiss thing? I was honestly appalled and that's hard to do, although I'm laughing about it now. We also watched the Betty Page short on comcast ON Demand section. Verrry cute.

We got our condo with the red, red carpet. Which means I will give beanie a bottle when we move in and drink some red, red wine. Huzzah!

~Amelie, Movin On Up

11:09 AM

Tuesday, January 10, 2006  

So, I've had one great interview with a job I wasn't that keen on until I went to the office; one half of a phone interview for a job at the Capitol (that I won't get, but I'm okay with that.) I got a request for my references and my diplomas, all two of them. I got info from the City about a job I applied for and I'm still applying to an average of 2 jobs a day. That's pretty good. I'm down with interviewing like a MADMAN until I get something I can sink my teeth into. I'm in no rush to take the next thing that pops its head up, like I was a week ago when we thought we were buying a house.

Now we are in the process of filling out info for a condo. We'd lease it for a year. It's got this crazy beautiful red carpeting that I'd normally hate, but for some reason SO MUCH of it is good. It's also on a little paddle boat lake and you can see an island from the living room. I hope we get it, cross fingers.

I'm going to get a car on Monday. That's also very good. That will help me out so much, I can't even BEGIN to describe it. My grandparents are going to loan me their extra car and I'll be able to putter around. It's an old Volvo sedan, so it's safe, reliable, and gets 10 mpg, which means I won't putter quite as much as I imagine I would if it were a newer model. Still. It's freedom.

I have a lot of stuff on my plate; Two parties this weekend. PF is working 7 days a week, it's making me CRAZY with missing him, but I knew to expect it. Beanie is growing strong. She's exactly right for her age and weight and is hysterical once you get her giggling. She also said "uh oh" the other day. I think that it was technically a hiccup, but you can't tell her grandpa anything these days, nosirree. She said Uh Oh.

The only black thing on my soul this week is that Churchill has gone missing. He's the cat I always talk about needing a new home for but because he's so skittish and hidey, I'm not so interested in dumping him on people who don't "get" a cat like him. He's actually a charmer. I'm really freaking out. I think what happened was that on Thursday night, I left the screen to the roof open and he must have gone out that early Friday morning. I woke up, he wasn't around, I figured he'd somehow hid out downstairs. I didn't worry. I didn't worry until Saturday night when I realized I'd left the screen open. So then I started fantasizing he'd fallen off the roof and broken his back. But he wasn't anywhere to be found. And he wasn't meowing. He's fallen off the roof before, all the cats have, but they are never far away and never dead. So now he's gone and I feel horrible and sad about it. I feel very sick about it. I can't let myself cry, because I don't know where he is. He could have potentially turned into a really cool arrogant little kitty who wandered to a neighbor's house, but no one has put up signs. So, I'm putting some up tomorrow. I keep thinking about the lady from my volunteer program who told me about the mountain lion loose in this neck of the woods. I heard coyotes out by the river the other night, they sounded like an old train whistle going by because they were so far away. Poor Churchill. It's been cold and damp and I miss him and I feel so sorry for him, wherever he is. I hope he comes home.

~Amelie, Feeling Russian Blue

9:39 PM

Saturday, January 07, 2006  
I cannot believe how many jobs I've applied for today. My inbox is full of confirmations of receipt.

But of course, I got sidetracked. This is a great website that lists all of the great museums and science related programs for kids and families in Sacramento and surround. I love museums. My current favorite Sacramento museum is the Medical Museum on Elvas. I've been there once and it did me a world of good.

I need to go on Ebay and price out going rates for baby things so as to sell them on craigslist. Backwards, am I.

~Amelie, Blithering as usual

4:23 PM

Thursday, January 05, 2006  
Russian cheese, Hungarian salami, Armenian bread, Californian petit syrah, Mandarin oranges.

That's my dinner for tonight. Pretty good. Pre-tee pre-tee good.

I wish it made me happier.

I got some rough news today and I'm dealing not so well, but I will pretend I'm okay with it, because I know I am in my heart. Still.

I need to find a job. No more messing around.

~Amelie, on the march.

6:25 PM

Wednesday, January 04, 2006  
Oh boy! PF sent me this Larry David Op-Ed for the NYT, and it's pre-tty good, pre-ttee pre-tee good.

I haven't seen it either and for some reason, I don't even really want to. If I want man on man action, I'll rent something from greencine. But ape on everyone is funnier.

Okay. Off to nunu the beanie. She has started rice cereal and loves it. I tasted it and it's kind of blah.

We started moving in to our new place and she's a bit peckish today. So am I, actually...

~Amelie, Off her Rocker.

8:27 PM

Monday, January 02, 2006  
I am thinking it's too rainy again today.

Yesterday during the LOTR extended director's cut marathon at the Ninja's the power flickered and I think someone was pretty serious when they said "uh oh, we may have to act it all out."

Our gazebo blew over. This means I am the one who gets to go down there on the soggy bits to figure out just how badly damaged it is. I'm thinking twisted metal and ripped canvas that should have been unzipped for winter. In any case, I'm the only one with good knees and rain boots. I will probably get stuck in the mire, so if I never post again, you know why.

I think I'm fighting a sinus infection. What color is it supposed to be if you are sinusitis grrl? Because it's dark putrescent green this morning, and I think that's a bad sign. Especially when my health insurance ran out on Sunday.

Oh yeah, a happy new year indeed. 2006. Holy crap.

Still, it's looking better than last year because I can't get shingles again, right?

~Amelie, Always Looking On The Bright Side

11:33 AM

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