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Wednesday, June 30, 2004  
My coworker just gave me an intersexed peach. It has this parasitic twin hanging off of it in a very suggestable manner. Yes, like a vulva with an extremely engorged clitoris, if you must know. All I'm saying is, I keep thinking "Eugenides" and I can't eat the damn thing.

Another coworker sent me funny photos from her friend Lon's recent trip to Shanghai. I shall share them below:


Chinese Colonel Ricebowl

Shanghai Tourism Spot

Yeah, baby.

~Amelie, peachy keen.

11:44 AM

Tuesday, June 29, 2004  
This is an interesting campaign! I was just talking about HRT and menopause and natural remedies vs. the drugs routinely pumped into people... Now you have a good reason not to use Premarin.

Know anyone who wants to adopt a PMU horse?

~Amelie, A horse of a different color.

11:41 AM

Fahrenheit 451 (I believe that's the temperature at which paper burns or something??) was a book (and subsequently a movie) by Ray Bradbury about fascism and turning against the grain to fight it. It was about conformity and book burning and zoning out. Believing what you're told despite all evidence to the contrary.

Oh yeah, we do that here the USofA.

That's why Michael Moore called it Fahrenheit 911. it's about heating up, and believing the hype of the religious right, of the rightwing political regime, and of the fear (the kind that censors and doesn't allow freedom of thought and action). And GWBII is a despot and a pawn. I knew this. I didn't know all the crud Moore brings to the surface, but none of it surprised me in the least. (here is an article from Slate that Maya brought to my attention: it's succinctly anti-moore, and in some ways, he's right.)

I thought it was a simple minded film, a relatively straightforward if super sarcastic (and therefore, funny at times) documentary for simple people. I thought "That's brilliant! If you make it soooo easy to understand, the younger people who DON'T vote will see this and realize how simple it was to dupe everyone else, and they'll rebel and actually cast a vote or two!" I was pretty impressed with the tone. It's the rally cry. However, for the people who have actually been following all this crap, who knew this stuff, it's more of a "duh. where's the action, Mikey?" For example, I really wish he'd gone more in depth on the Patriot Act. I think most people who were appalled by it wish he had.

Still. It's so simple, it's no wonder that the tighty righties wanted it censored.

In any case, it's worth seeing. If every conservative saw it, they might be embarrassed and chastened enough that they couldn't face their own kids (the same kids who aren't having sex, cussing, or doing drugs of any kind, don't you know. Because they're PERfect) if they were they to again cast a vote for the evil that is The Bush War Machine.

And I now have to wonder, is Nader plumb crazy??

The more I hear about his current antics, the more I retract my half-hearted support of him. I'd never vote for him, but I respected his attempts to break the 2 party system.

However, these days I'm all about Anybody But Bush. Anyone sane is. And that means voting for "anyone with enough political support to actually win and not bust up the votes." If Bush were to win again, it would be worse than going to hell. In fact, it would be hell.

I'm pretty convinced that Bush is one of the stupidest men we've ever had in office, but I also think he's being puppeted by very smart, very evil people. And that makes up for his idiocy. I mean, we were played. We all know this. In November, we HAVE to take a stand and say NOT AGAIN.


9:17 AM

Monday, June 28, 2004  
The will of the people!!!

"The will of the Legislature and the people of California has been upheld.

Governor Schwarzenegger just announced to the media that he made a terrible mistake proposing the repeal of the Hayden law. He said he loves animals and his daughter was of particular influence in recognizing the situation this repeal suggestion created.

PLEASE THANK Governor Schwarzenegger for recognizing the value of the Hayden legislation and tell him we look forward to working with him on legislation to protect animals in the future. You can contact the Governor here."

I knew it was great when the legislators I called told me they weren't even taking names and zip codes anymore!!!
I also strongly suggest that we tell him to funnel more money into free spay/neuter programs and to make a lot of PSAs on the subject so that we can save money in the future.

Still got a headache, but going to see F/911 to see if it's as awful and good as everyone is saying it is.

~Amelie, practical minded even with a win.

9:46 PM

My retreat was HARD CORE. I am exhausted and have a headache. I had no caffeine the entire time, and that was hard, but it was harder working on my mom issues (both the infertility/victimhood that I feel and my anger/resentment towards my mom, who I love dearly but don't have a very good relationship with.) It was INTENSE. Saturday I nearly walked home from Lake Tahoe, but I pushed myself to finish and got home late last night, exhausted, headachey, worn out, but calm, honest with myself, real, focused and centered.

So, that's good! No, that's GREAT!

I highly recommend it to anyone. Even if you don't think you have unresolved issues with your parents and are a stoic, emotional rock. They get you to reach into the depths of any pain you have, to your dark place. What they do at this retreat is help you break down your inhibitions and make you come to grips with the fact that most of what your perceive out there is what you put out into the universe. And that, while theoretically working for me, was never in practice before.

The level one is all about reaching your true feminine and becoming your own mother. It's a really intense journey, and I'm just exhausted from it all.

And it ain't a cult! I was very happy to realize that once I'd been there a few hours. Phew! Serious relief. It's actually an intense group psychological focus workshop. And it's WORK. You'll be so sick of it, it's so much work. But you'll be glad.

If you live in Sacramento and you want to know more, email me and I'll tell you about the foundation and where you can go to find out info on it. I'm sure there are other programs similar to this one, EST comes to mind and IMPACT, but from what I heard, those are very confrontational, although that might be rewarding for a lot of people who don't confront others well.

~Amelie, Headachie.

10:33 AM

Friday, June 25, 2004  
Freecycling is what you do when you have stuff you want to use or get rid of, but you never use and are too lazy to donate. Like old clothes, scrap lumber, nat’l geographic magazines, jars full of buttons, anything taking up space in your garage or closets that never sees the light of day. The theory is, if you intended to save it because it’s useful, why not give it to someone who can use it, since you’re never going to get around to it?

I’m pretty excited about it. I usually walk stuff over to the Hospice Thrift store across from my house, but they get really overwhelmed with “junk”. And I have no idea what to do with all the magazines I buy and can’t bear to throw away. So, I joined the Freecyclers in Sacramento, but they are all over the place. The beauty is, someone comes to pick it up. If you need something, you post a wish list and wait for someone to respond with the kind of junk you actually need, and then YOU go get THAT. Pretty great, non?

Here’s the Sacto site
It’s a group. You would have to join. You will get millions of emails unless you restrict it to looking at the site posts themselves, and you can do that with a free yahoo account.

If you’re not in Sacto, you can go to the main .org where there is a regional breakdown for groups to belong to. http://www.freecycle.org/

Thanks, Mel, for turning me on to it! It worked great for me.

~Amelie, who just unloaded her entire closet full of old clothes onto an unsuspecting gal from Del Paso Heights.

2:00 PM

Oh No!

Governor Wants to Repeal Law Favoring Pet Adoption
The plan to save counties and cities money would make it easier to put stray animals to death.
By Robert Salladay, Times Staff Writer
Los Angeles Times
9:59 PM PDT, June 24, 2004

SACRAMENTO — In his brief political career, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has challenged powerful state unions, prison guards and wealthy American Indian tribes alike. But now he is up against a group with far greater numbers and a louder voice: animal lovers.

Schwarzenegger wants to repeal California's comprehensive law forcing animal shelters to hold stray cats and dogs up to six days before killing them, a budget-cutting move that has enraged pet adoption groups.

As a favor to the state's cash-poor counties and cities, Schwarzenegger has asked the state Legislature to reverse the 1998 law, which makes adoption of wayward pets the first priority of shelters instead of quickly putting them to death. The law is dubbed the Hayden Act, after former Santa Monica state senator and activist Tom Hayden.

10:14 AM

Loads of people are going to see Mike Moore's newest this weekend. They want to keep criticism of GWBII, the (p)Resident, in the public eye. That's a good idea! If all the xchins were able to buy-out theaters to show Passion Of The Christ and keep it a box office phenom for so long (it's horrible, by the way), then dems and libs should be able to find the dough to keep Fahrenheit 911 in the theaters for at least a few weekends. I haven't seen it, so I have no idea if it's very good. I'm guessing it's intriguing, funny, and heartbreaking. I'd probably have to see it with the Ninjas or PF because they know all the libertarian info and misreprentations, but I still think it would be a decent film. If you can't make it, go see The Corporation. It's really good and really long.

In any case, it's worth it to keep these films in the theaters just to chase out the Passion. That's still playing in some neck of the woods, you know. Horrible.

As for me, I go away this weekend on a retreat for self awareness crud. We'll see. Maybe I will come out a happier person for my trouble. I guess that means I'll see Fahrenheit 911 next week sometime, so don't spoil it for me!!!

~Amelie The Brave.

9:42 AM

Thursday, June 24, 2004  

Amelie says: Ones To Watch!

Okay, that kid Popik is still hot. And he's only what, 21? He's also a four-square champion. I'm probably a lech. No, I am indeed. A lech. He's cute in the way that Jake Gyllenhaal is cute. But Ben is also a smartie pants.

Okay, and my other secret fascination that I'm about to divulge and embarrass myself only slightly more: uh, fellas? Yeah. I can't stop looking. PF is going to laugh himself silly about me.
Regardless, did you know tranny men could be that hot? Yeah, don't look. I don't blame you. He's hot, though. Maybe that's why I like Vin Diesel so much. Maybe he's not just mixed races and hot and bald...maybe he is XX. Instead of XXX....

~Amelie, scaring herself.

7:52 PM

I totally want to go here.
Panamint City.

It's a 20 miles round trip hike, not including hiking around once you get up there. I think we'd have to leave Seamas behind, he had a lot of trouble up in Desolation Wilderness Area last year.

Wouldn't this be a swell trek, though?


5:28 PM

Attention All Bunny Lovers in Sacramento:

Mr. Bun has been SAVED!!!
That's right, the sadly half-dead house rabit I took home one day in late March and managed to keep alive for 4 weeks...the same bun who nuzzled my dog and ate yogurt but left the blueberries...the same bun with the tumor and the eye infection that wouldn't clear up for all the antibiotics he was on...the same bun the SPCA told me they'd put down....

The same bun I took to the City Animal Shelter because they told me about a lady who comes through and saves all their bunnies right before they get the axe...I had hoped that someone would fall in love with him, and I gave my number to the shelter if they had "any questions" about him. And she called!!!

He has been SAVED! By Friends of the Sacramento City Animal Shelter. Feel free to donate to this wonderful shelter and its fabulous friends; I am. I'm so grateful. It made me cry. By the way, he's in the pocket pets section under "Sammy".

She's picking him up today, the day he was scheduled to be put down. She called me last night and left a message, and just called me back here at work! He'll be seen by a SPECIALIST. She says his eye will clear up and she'll have the tumor checked, too. Why, it may even end up removed!!! I feel like that little bit of extra heavy sadness has been lifted.

~Amelie, Happy, Happy, Happy, for Mr. Bun and his Pellets of Fun!

10:47 AM

Ever since I took the fat class at Kaiser (where I gained 3 lbs eating low fat/high carb like the rest of the ladies), I've been incorporating dairy into my diet (the nutritionist was a freak about it, and I made it a goal, and I stuck with it). Because I don't like the stuff I've read about conventional dairy foods, I've been changing over to organic (except the yogurt, because it just has WHEY too many calories, so I eat the lighter versions when I eat it at all.)

I'm in love with this milk. No, it's not in Sacramento. I'd love to know if there is a similar small, organic dairy operating nearby, too. If you know of one, let me know.

If you've never had raw, organic milk, you pretty much have to try it. I used to drink ONLY nonfat milk, and this is completely different (the site says they make a nonfat, but my store doesn't carry it). First off, it's not homogenized. You have to really shake it if you refrigerate it long enough as the cream will come to the top. It comes in glass bottles and that helps it taste so fresh. And while I don't drink a lot of milk, if I'm going to drink it at all, it's going to be a treat, and a perfect food. Humans are the only animals that drink milk from other animals (well, unless you count foster animal moms.) And it's not normal to drink it in the first place. But we do, and we do things to the milk that really screw it up. This milk is pure goodness. I promise. Just keep it refrigerated (as you would any milk) and know that bacteria (both good and bad) may be present (because these cows aren't treated with gallons of antibiotics during their lifetime). Basically, don't feed it to kids (unless you really really want them to taste something yummier than the conventional milk) and drink it at your own risk (but know that raw milk facilities are cleaner than a conventional and that the raw milk dairy is inspected more often too), but really, raw milk bottled properly should remove the conditions that caused Louis to scald the stuff in the first place. The cows are fed a healthy bovine diet, based on grass and hay, and natural growing cycles. I think that adds a subtle difference in taste (fresh, clean tasting, not as cloyingly sweet, if you can believe it; I guess they get complaints when the cows are strictly grass-fed and pastured) compared to the strictly corn-and-antibiotic-fed cattle being milked on conventional farms.

Anyway. I'm on my second bottle. I thought I'd share.

~Amelie, leche lover.

And Megan, they have a recipe for how to make milk paint in their recipes section.

9:10 AM

Wednesday, June 23, 2004  
For those pregnant ladies among us: are you looking for a decent work outfit? Need a pair of tights for autumn because you just found out you're pg?

This cute stuff is totally on sale right now. I think they are going out of business or trying to forge a new design enterprise or something. Pumpkin Maternity. Thanks for the scoop, Dani!

~Amelie, who'd really like to need this stuff.

5:19 PM

I would like to stay here some day. It looks magical, non? It's near Bodega Bay/Point Reyes.

12:17 PM

Tuesday, June 22, 2004  
I have over 1038 posts on this crazy blog. I'm a bit ridiculous.

In the news recently:

The Korean businessman was murdered by beheading. No, I do not think that is okay. But I'm not under the severely incorrect idea that the US Troops are actually protecting people from terrorists, and they never did. Sorry. And if the people in the Middle East hated us before, they DEFINITELY hate us even more now. And I have no opinion on whether that's right or wrong. What this war has done to me: made me completely indifferent to "why" we do things. All I know is that we are idiots, and it makes me want to move to somewhere else, especially if Kerry is not elected. I'm not alone in this, I think. And here's the thing that everyone forgets: you are more likely to be attacked by a godspewing, ultra-whitey pro-lifer in a doctor's office than blown up by brown, hate-filled, god warring terrorists on a plane. We have domestic terrorists that no one is doing anything about, and we are STILL in the middle east, in a country with no nuclear weapons to be found, and we are STILL paying loads of dough for the privilege of driving cars and other crazy things that require petroleum.

I heard Ralph Nader scream on the radio when he was asked why he's still running. I forgot he was still running, actually. I hope a lot of greenies do too, especially now. I'm sorry for my "gentle and kind" nader post earlier this year.

The median housing price for a Sacramento house is now 285K. Median does not mean average, it's simply the point where 50% of the houses sold for MORE and the rest sold for LESS. It's kind of a useful statistic, but only if you know how many sold for more and for less, and what the average is. In my neighborhood, the average resale on a house is currently 550K. It makes me seriously sick to my stomach. In undesirable neighborhoods, you can get a 1/4 2 bd "condo" with no yard around it for 76K. The same place was selling for 7K in 1998. What you'd have in that neighborhood is unremitting gang activity, and a gate that can be locked by the police to keep people "in". That's the lowest priced house I could find that had a roof.

In my own personal news, I meet my new roommate tonight. She sounds amazing.

Seamas and I had agility last night. It was our first day back in 3 weeks since the teachers competed in national trials. It was fun! But I didn't eat dinner until around 11 PM. I was doing horrible with food yesterday, actually. Before dragging my cat to the vet at 8 in the morning, I took my meds. And didn't eat until AFTER I started retching. Number one requirement with this medication: drink tons of water. Number two: eat food.

I am also seriously dizzy and my butt bone still hurts when I try to get up from a sitting position. I'm like an old lady. It's probably arthritis. Right?

I probably have arthritis. Or coccydynia. Which sounds like a hoot!!! Boy, that is the overstatement of the year when it comes to butt ache.

~Amelie: old, weary, butt-achey, dizzy, and exhausted. Two more and I could be all of the new 7 Dwarves.

11:12 AM

Monday, June 21, 2004  
I feel conflicted about this article in the LA Times. It's regarding WIC only stores. Women-Infants-Children vouchers cover certain foods and formulas for women who are low income enough to qualify, are pregnant, nursing, or have small children, AND who attend regular parenting and nutrition classes. There's a lot. It's not "oh, here you go chica, have some milk vouchers." It's "where do you live, what do you eat, take this class, go here, get this evaluated, bring this with you in triplicate, in 3 weeks you get 1 month of formula and you qualify for food for you and your kids."

It's a good program. Except that you can only buy "WIC ONLY" items in the grocery store. You can't, for example, trade your crawling-with-growth-hormones-and-antibiotics conventional milk for organic "straight from the moo, scalded for your added protection" milk. Nope. You gotta buy what the store wants to sell. Choosy moms don't get to choose jiff sometimes. Basically.

I mean, OJ tastes the same to me if it's no sugar added and from concentrate. But milk is very iffy, and so is meat, cheese, etc. I hope I never have to use WIC, but if I do, I hope they are either fully funded or give you a break. In any case, it's a good thing to have, it's just not "perfected" of course.

So, I have no problem with small stores popping up to serve WIC voucher users and making the moms feel comfortable and selling food at top dollar if they PAID top dollar, but I understand the dilemma of the budget. If you spend it too fast, it's gone. There are no dollar limits on the vouchers, they are "MILK" and "CHEESE". obviously, you'd want it to be cheaper food, but not lower quality. It's for kids and nursing or pregnant moms, for pete's sake! It's to keep people healthy and prevent disease, complications, and child abuse, not cause problems in the future.

Anyway. It's another "good thing gone bad" issue. Not that it's bad to charge top dollar, it just uses up the budget item faster. It's a TYPICAL problem usually seen in "payor of last resort" acts, but in this case they have a range for food prices that look to be incredibly steep in the first place. It's not like these families can take their vouchers to any vendor at the farmer's market and get the cheapest deal, and there's no incentive for them to do so in the first place. It's not like food stamps where you get change.

I personally have no problem with WIC only stores. You know, if the major chains had been smart, they'd have little "food outlets" where they specialized in WIC only food. In fact, it should have been required by the gov't for stores to do something like that. It's not like there aren't possible incentives: rent incentives, tax incentives, employee incentives, non-profits status incentives...

So, they left it up to capitalists. And frankly, I have no problem with this, you get what you pay for.

~Amelie, WIC-ked.

2:24 PM

Sunday, June 20, 2004  
It isn't like I run all the time. I run very infrequently. Only when people chase me, really. And sometimes I run when I'm playing kickball or walking my dog. I used to run a lot more, but my knees started hurting.
They don't hurt anymore. Which is weird, but whatever.

Lately? It's my ass. My "sitbones" (Alan Finger, {one of the worst names ever, a famous yoga instructor, calls it that.) It's the tip of my tailbone. After I run, it goes CRAZY. The first time it happened I didn't make the connection. I thought I'd fallen on my ass (fairly typical and possible) and wasn't remembering the injury to it.

But it's happening when I run or jog! And it hurt like hell all night last night after playing Kickball for the first time this year. I sat through The Corporation (fabulous, you will be seriously impressed with the people these documentarians interviewed and what they have to say, and I'm REALLY happy with Interface (carpet manufacturer) after this film) but my poor dumb butt was so sore, I kept shifting in my seat and not getting relief. I will probabl have to carry around a doughnut pillow and everyone will think I have The Hemorrhoids. But really, it's just the tip of a bone that's pissed off.

I wonder if this is typical. Because I like running. Will it go away if I keep at it? Is acclimate an appropriate word to use when discussing the ass? Tell me joggers. Amelie's inquiring bottom wants to know.

Today is Dad Day. My dad is the cutest thing ever. He's the only guy I know who plays bagpipes and can tell really gross stories over dinner and be completely surprised when guests turn green. He has bad knees and is collecting walking sticks. Of course, I bought him this beautiful laquered fruitwood walking stick carved by this artist in Oak Park who custom makes them. It has embedded khouri (sp?) shells in it, and africanized faces with wide set eyes and pronounced lips and the top one has this gorgeous tall headress as the handle. It's really pretty and unique! Of course, I called my dad right after I bought it and yelled, "guess what I bought you for father's day????" I really hate surprises and tend to ruin them for everyone else as well. I suck. But he really is going to like it no matter what.

~Amelie, sitting up straight to take the pressure off.

8:13 AM

Friday, June 18, 2004  
This new Clinton autobiography, from what I've read about it, sounds very real to me. He seems to be very normal, for what it's worth. The focus, or maybe it's the focus of the reviewers, is probably going to be on the whole Lewinsky thing. Had I been in the same position as her, I would not have gotten involved with him. I don't think. He's not my type. But still, I would have been REALLY HURT had I been in her position after the fact. It would have made me crazy. Not paula jones crazy, but crazy. I've seen her since. She's articulate and classy looking. Not cigar girl bizarre live sex show looking. She seems nice. And so does he. He seems like the kind of person you don't mind is a little oversexed so long as he keeps it out of sight.

And I know, I KNOW, how many people stay together "for the children", and I know how many unhappy marriages there are, and I know how many people have to work incredibly hard to keep it together even a little bit, for millions of reasons that impact a marriage or any long term relationship. I'm also sure people get a little bored with the same-old. And I bet they get lonely when they are, well, alone a lot. Not being married, I can't say I wouldn't have these problems in the future were I to marry. However, I could never live with myself if I cheated on my husband. I'm saying that as a non-married person who has so far never cheated on anyone. It doesn't make me "better than". I think that's the part that all the republicans, who used the "moral" issue to attack Clinton, somehow missed. Newt? Divorced his wife when she was on her deathbed, as one blogger pointed out recently. And Strom? Had a secret daughter with a black woman, even while being a racist son of a bitch all along...
So. There are worse people in power. Look at the current situation. We have a complete ASSHOLE with a cabinet of extra assholes. Working hard to fuck the planet and its people entirely. In their eyesockets...

These are all people I consider far less morally capable of doing anything remotely "good" than a person who cheats on his wife with a cigar and a pretty girl in the oval office.

I dunno. Clinton seems real. And not horrid.

~Amelie. Who voted for him twice.

11:36 AM

Wednesday, June 16, 2004  
I don't know about your state, but California's real estate market is out of control. I mean, OUT of control. Usually the cities that see huge inflation and deflation in property values (or sustained property values like the Bay Area) are on the coast. We are currently seeing a scary trend in CA. Less than 45% of all the people here can afford to currently buy, and that's first time buyers.

Basically, a house that cost a buyer $60k in Sacramento 8-10 years ago is now worth over 300 thousand dollars. That's obnoxiously inflated, and not really the value of the house! If you are from the Bay Area, you do not understand housing inflation. You're too used to it, so you are looking at "reasonable" housing costs when you look at Sacramento, ignoring actual value. Which is called speculation. Which is bad, bad, bad for Sacramento normal folks who can't pay what a Bay Area employeed commuter is willing to pay for anything remotely decent in the Bay Area. And by the way, property values in San Jose dropped below the top 20 for the first time in a long time, but they are still considered unaffordable by current market standards. Current affordability in ALL of CA (it's a big state too, folks) is 250K for a 1000 sq. foot 2 bedroom 1 bath resale house on less than .25 acres. Amazed, puking, and scared yet? You will be.

Here's a good article in a San Diego paper, I don't think you need to register for it to read it, but you might. Basically, for the past 3 years I've been saying "this is truly unsustainable." And yet, the prices just keep going up. A house two blocks from me, dinky, brick, old, ugly, just sold for just under the asking price of $595K. The little dink of a house that I rent for 1275/month that was built for 18K in 1975? Was just appraised at 395K.

Okay, People. This is NOT San Diego. This is NOT the Bay Area. Nor is it LA. Sacramento is known for ridiculous weather (114 in summer, 20s-30s in the winter with rain and ice, rain nonstop for days, flooding, and then heat & humidity again) and as a "Cow Town". The nickname is Sactomato. We have a great basketball team, a minor league baseball team, a hard rock cafe, a few cool old theaters, and lots of trees and a pile of rivers. It's not THAT exciting. Sure, people who are like me love it. I love the old buildings. I love the flat grid. I love downtown. I hate most of the suburbs. I like that it's agricultural, family oriented and educated. I like that it's the political mecca of California but that people all over the state think LA is the capital city. I love that people are ignorant and don't usually stop here to sightsee. I loved, until a few years ago, the housing affordability.

In 1997, I had a nice apartment with 2 cats for $375/month, and 25 bucks in utilities. And that was "expensive". In 1999, I had my own 2 bd flat for 700/month and it was 200 sq. ft bigger than what I'm living in now (not to mention, architecturally gifted and quaint and bright and happy, and sadly I'm in a very expensive dump in a more interesting part of town, but it's not worth it people...)

Anyway. The housing market is plumb crazy.

And I know it's not sustainable. I mean, where are all the jobs currently paying people 10-20K/month to make these outrageous mortgage payments? Even if someone is buying directly after selling, what are they getting into?? Selling at 300K+ only gives you the difference from what you owe minus fees and other costs. That's a nice DOWN PAYMENT, but it's not like you transfer ALL your equity. You end up getting what people are paying for now: $500K plus. Okay. Do the math.

I decided to do some averaging research. I picked random jobs that you will find heavily concentrated in Sactomato. Average salaries according to salary.com for the 95816 zip code (my zip in Sacto, a very desirable neighborhood):

36-49K Sous Chef
36-43K Administrative Assistant (highest level)
39-59K for a high school teacher
44-67K for a government employee (that's an analyst (SSA) position)
65-79K for a mid level aerospace engineer
55-77K for a clinical nurse specialist with an MSN
88-110K for an IT client/programmer HIGHEST LEVEL
124-159K for a high level associate attorney under partner (not in private practice)
195-293K for a surgeon

The careers I averaged above equal less than 30% of Sacramento wage earners, and the higher wages at the bottom there make up less than 8% of that 30%. And it would be very painful for someone making 100K/year to pay 3-5K a month for a mortgage! Can you imagine?? I mean, this is AFTER TAXES, PEOPLE. You ain't considered "rich" anymore unless you make more than 1 million a year. And then you BETTER have a ton of property to protect your money. But the folks making 70k? In single or double wage earner households? ugh. Unless you are a high ranked lawyer or doc, married to someone of equal stature, you are going to have a lot of trouble finding a reasonably priced house for your income in a desirable neighborhood. You're going to have a lot of trouble finding a place in an UNdesirable neighborhood.
Total population for Sacramento City: 407K. Median age: 32.8 years (I'm 32.8!) Total population of FT capable wage earners: ~209K
That's pretty good. That's half. Except that cut it by 1/3 and you'll get a more accurate statistic for FT wage earners minus stay at home parents.
The vast majority of Sacramentans? Work in hourly wage jobs making under 30K in a good year.

More interesting stats:
Average housing price in 1995: 129K according to countywide stats. 5 year appreciation: 81% (and that's an old estimate) (Sacramento County pop in 1995 was 1,230,700)

California, just last month, went from 24% housing affordability to 16% housing affordability. That meants that only 16% of the houses on the market are considered affordable for the average wage earner in California, population 35 million, biggest industries: tourism, software and miscellaneous healthcare related.
That spells foreclosure.

I mean, how are these people doing it? I mean, how are they buying? It's a good thing to buy, but not at inflated prices. The rental market was huge not 2 years ago when everyone vacated the Bay Area. The inflation went crazy and priced me out of my flat. That flat and the two apartments under it sold (at that time, a crazy price) for 289K. He could have gotten more. Now, according to todays standards, that place (with no garage and not much yard!) would be worth WAY over 500K. For 1200 square feet and 2 small income generating apartments. It took 3 gay sous chefs from SF to pool their money and purchase the house in the first place, and that's before refinancing for a lower interest rate (and believe me, rates will be going up in 15 days, at least 1%, and we'll eventually watch it climb back up to 13%, draining inflated home equity, sorry to say for current owners and future sellers.)

I don't make a shabby salary, especially for what I do. 5 years ago, had I been making this much, I would have been able to buy a nice house. But now?

No way.

Not until I and others like me can ride in like a carpetbagger and "relieve" people of their pain for my financial gain.

In the meantime, I will try my best to save a LOT of money for a down, because the zero down deals won't work when you're paying 13% interest. You will be spelling "miserable" and "screwed" instead of just "woah!" if you are offered zero down.

~Amelie, feeling VERY Cassandra-esqe lately.

11:33 AM

Monday, June 14, 2004  
This here's brilliant.... I'm a very good babysitter or dog groomer, and I'd do that in a heartbeat for some down-n-dirty weed pulling. Or a vet to take a look at Wingnut's eye. This cat is going to nickle n dime me to death. $78 to see an opthamalogist, and that's just the consultation fee. That don't include nothin' else. Sheesh!

Thanks, Dianna @ The Infinite Stitch!

I just ate something called a carmelita. It was pecans, shortbread, chocolate chips, and light caramel somewhere in the middle. It was crumbly goodness. It was really baaaad in a way that's soooooo gooooood. Only. I'm not used to that much sugar and fat, and I can literally feel my poor stomach doing "wtf?!s" as I sit here in my office blogging to my heart's content. I can actually feel my brain hitting sugar coma stage as I sit here typing. I'm downing coffee to keep up with my bad self. But I'm fading pleasantly and fast.

Today was a high carb day. It started high and looks like it's going to end high.

I may need a nap.

~Amelie, bucked up.

4:19 PM

I saw Harry Potter again. I have now seen the whole flick, as my bladder prodded me to run during the second half this time. Last time, it was during the first session with the divinity teacher (a part of the film I had no idea had happened.) I made my escape during the dementors by the lake. Got back for the good stuff.

Anyway, it's definitely a tighter movie, I don't know that I agree with Maya completely about the longwindedness of the other two, I can definitely appreciate all the novelties and details, but by the 3rd film I'm definitely caught up enough to not need them all pointed out. I brought a sweater for the AC, a smart grrl is what I am. I now need someone to go see Riddick with me again. I must know if it's as good or better the second time around. Fuck you, Roger Ebert. I only agree with you 80% of the time anyway.

in other news,

I was reading mimi a blogger and author and mommy I now just adore to pieces, and she posted this little bit of hell. Ms. Mimi, if you hadn't said anything, I'd've thought they were lobsters as well, but thank you for the link. It reminds me there are horrible people out there who really think they are good. I thought she'd linked to a joke site at first. But it ain't, sadly. It's a perfectly fucked up version of the xchin right's way of thinking. I'm not sure how people can get so hateful and depraved, but they manage it just fine, it seems. And the rest of the world manages to survive even the most hateful, depraved crap thrown at it. In cartoon format.

Yesterday, I was thinking aloud (I do this often) about how depressing the world is. I mean, we are still in Iraq, we're still causing misery. I saw Beyond Borders (it's not as bad as it looked in the theater previews, trust me, it's like watching people rescuing starving countries over and over again, so it's depressing, scary, sad, but not THAT bad.) Not as bad as Timeline, and that was horrifying awful. I cannot believe it got more stars. Anyway. So maybe it's just that I saw Beyond Borders after Timeline and I think it's good. I dunno...I was thinking aloud about how much misery there is. And I said "how do people bear it?" PF looked at me and said "What do you mean? What else are they gonna do? Of course they bear it." And there you are. It's bad, it's fucked up, it's miserable, but you make the best of it. Until it gets better or you die. And apparently that's the human condition. Everywhere but here in the USofA (okay, and the rest of the industrialized world.) Weird, non?

I'm reading this fantastic book called Jarhead by a fellow Sacramentan named Anthony Swofford who is my age but is a far better writer (oh yes, I know I'm horrid.) I highly recommend this book to everyone, especially for book clubs. Don't worry, it won't be on Oprah's lists. This is a hard book to read, more for the fact that the US is over there now, fighting and eating sand and hoping to come home soon. This author is really brill, people. It's like reading Holden Caulfield all grown up and going to The Desert, and using adult lingo. He's channeling great authors with this work, or maybe he's just plain old fantastic. It's real, it's raw, it's sad, it's harsh, and I'm going to make my teenagers read it someday. I have nothing against Marines, but boy, this book was intense. Swofford is a prof at St. Mary's in Moraga, CA right now. So take a class from this guy, he is profound.

Other book I recommend if I haven't mentioned it yet: In The Country Of Last Things by Paul Auster. I couldn't put it down either. Also about war. Okay, I'm all about the war books the past few months. I admit it. This is haunting, sad, beautiful, painful, hopeful, and above all, amazingly well written.

~Amelie, who is above all, amazing. Or painful. Maybe.

9:08 AM

Sunday, June 13, 2004  

Chronicles of Riddick: fan fucking tastic. For the most part. It's about Riddick only. Here's a decent review that sort of encapsulates what I think. However, Vin Diesel is my fantasy lover (sick as you may think that is, too fucking bad. I love him in my own way.)

I loved Pitch Black as well, so I don't totally relate to this being "better than the original" Ed, but it's amazingly good in it's own way.

You have to remember that Pitch Black is a lo-budget foreign film, and it spawned a very intriguing character in Riddick. But he wasn't the only character. In any case, it's a tight movie. I have no idea what they cut, but it wasn't scary. It was really good for a PG-13, though.

Again, I think Vin Diesel is hotter than the asphault in Las Vegas at 3 pm. I think he's so hot, it's spooks me a little. I got flustered when he was doing his rope climbing acrobatics. I don't know if I'm normal, or if this is a common thing for women (and men) watching him. He's not a "good" actor, but he's perfectly fine for this character. Sort of like Schwarz in the original Conan The Barbarian (a comic book style character, mind you, not quite like the books, but close enough!!!) I loved Conan. I was 11 or 12 when my dad bootlegged a VHS copy for me so we didn't have to rent it every week. I LOVED IT.

That's how I feel about Riddick. I'd probably watch that character in anything. In Pitch Black, a pretty scary movie for a sci-fi, done in very white and black colors on a desert planet (hmmm...much like Las Vegas without the housing developments---60K people move there EVERY MONTH! does that not frighten anyone else??) where there are 3 suns and it's never night. Except when there is an eclipse. And during the eclipse, there is NO LIGHT. None. And scary creatures come out of the sand at night. Boy. That's a fantastically suspenseful film, and I'll always be grateful to my old pal Amoeba for introducing it to me one spooky Halloween night. It's great.

And Riddick was different. It's mystical. It's got a little cthulu in it. It's got a little star trek in it. It's got magical people with super powers. It's got fate and myth and fantasy. That's NOT in Pitch Black. Pitch Black is about surviving. The Chronicles of Riddick is a story that I hope they will continue, but it's about salvation.

And yeah. I fucking loved it. It was great. I want to see it again.

Harry Potter was great as well, but so different from the other ones. I'm going to see it again. I think part of the problem I had with it was that Annastasia was on my lap the whole time because I was freezing in the theater. I was talking to some other folks and decided that the reasons it was so different (besides Dumbledore) were that they are growing up. And if I recall, the books made subtle switches as well to show that the characters were growing up and maturing and making different decisions. So, that's probably what threw me. They are now acting like teenagers.

And that's hard for me to accept.

Speaking of which, I noticed Lemony Snickett's stories are going to come out in film. This makes me somewhat sad. Partly because I can READ about babies being abused and hung in birdcages from tall steep windows and dreary sad children treated terribly by their wicked uncle, but I don't know that I want that stuff visualized. Even if it's done in the manner of James and The Giant Peach or Beetlejuice.

We went to Texas Station, Moe. It's a Casino/Family Events Center about .25 miles from Gina's house. It's HUGE. But it's not Mandalay Bay huge. Up in North Vegas.

We spent hours at the pool yesterday and I slathered on (at different times of the day) SPFs 15, 30, 45, and a non-spf Hawaiian Tropic oil that smelled like coconuts and bananas. In the middle of the desert. Afterwards, I slathered on an unscented after sun cream that actually smelled like aloe. I thought I'd be burnt to a crisp, but I am pleasantly tan. That never happens!

A refreshing drink that will remind you of sangria but isn't: 1 part diet 7 UP, 2 parts Ocean Spray wildberry juice and tea (diet or regular). Add ice, and you have a very refreshing punch-like drink. You could probably add alcohol, but why? It'll just dehydrate you.

I got tan for the first time in my life. On the plane last night, I had a dehydration headache from sitting in the sun too long. But I'm fine today!

xoxo-Amelie. Who is tan, and not painfully red, thankfully.

10:59 AM

Friday, June 11, 2004  
I'm in Las Vegas!

This is my 3rd night here. It's hotter than Sacto, but my best friend and her kids are soooo adorable. I want to eat the little ones, they are so yummy and smell so good. Like clean bathwater and pudding currently.

I'm babysitting right now. Gina is going to call in sick tomorrow, but tonight was a total "must do" workwise. Dinner for me was a bbq'd steak and grilled veggies that I made on the grill. Dinner for the toddlers: hot dogs, cheddar cheese, french fries, kudos, and chocolate pudding. I personally had no idea that if you allow a kid to "try" to eat pudding themselves, in gets into every crack and crevice on their little squirmy bodies. Pudding. The Mess That Keeps On Coming. Anna is off with the girl scouts miniature golfing with her granny in tow, so it's me and the babies.

Yesterday we all went hiking in Red Rock Canyon. Well, Gina, Anna and I hiked. Stefan got carried in the backpack (slept) and Andrez decided he couldn't walk (and really, he did great for a kid with Spina Bifida) so after 10 minutes, I found myself with a 36 lbs 3 year old on my shoulders. He kept kicking me in the boob, but I think the sticker in my sock hurt worse. We did the scenic route, and went on the children's discovery trail. I highly recommend, just make sure you take a hat and watch out for prickly bushes on the trail. There are a few petroglyphs to hunt for, and a prehistoric agave roasting pit that I couldn't see at all even though I'm sure I was standing on the thing.

I got here with new Target purchased suitcases. The little one had my clothes, the big one was full of toys. So far they like the dumptruck, the hello kitty stuff, and the elmo video camera that talks. They don't care so much about all the clothes I gave them. It's all about toys when you're 10 and under.

I love them so much. My best friend is so hot, even after having 3 kids (one only 10 months old) it's scary. She swears by breast feeding. If that's true, I really need the lactation hormones and a breast pump, because she is seriously slim, and the chick eats toddler food! Of course, it's hot as hell here, so maybe it all melts off...

Anyway. The toddlers fell asleep early last night, so Gina and I left them with her mom and took Anna to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I personally liked the book the best, but the story in the movie was not my cup of tea. Maybe it was all the different acting ideas being portrayed. A different director, a different Dumbledore (sad but necessary)...I dunno. It's good. I liked it. But not as much as the first 2. Make sense? I hope so.

Tonight I'm going to the movies late. After all the kids are asleep. Riddick baby, here I come...it's either the sequel or the prequel to Pitch Black. A great flick from down unda... Maybe we will sneak in with beers (totally unecessary, since the theater is in the local casino.) I keep telling Gina she is WAAAAY too used to the weird shite here in the Big Fat LV. Everything family? Is in a casino. The local bowling alley is the casino. The casino is life here. I have yet to see a mall, but there are these giant neighborhood casinos.... beee-zare.

Okay, kids are laughing their asses off at something. Must go check.

xoxo-amelie babysitter extraordinaire

7:27 PM

Sunday, June 06, 2004  
THC and me are not friends.

I wish we were, but we are not. Every time I've tried to like it, it messes with me.

I've had it. No more. This is like try number 15, and it was the firs time I injested it. And I tell ya, fuck this. I'll stick to ibuprofen and caffeine and an occasional glass of wine. How people do this every day is beyond me.

I spent all night recovering and then woke up at 7 AM starving for breakfast.

This is what happened with the stupid brownie: kicked in about 20 minutes after I got back to the bbq, so I at least managed to eat some food. Around the time that Kizzy was showing everyone her slides from Bali, I about fell over. I managed to get to the couch and sit quietly. Yes, quietly. I didn't talk at all. Even when I wanted to.

When we gathered around the table, all I could think about was how much I wanted to go home and didn't know what time it was. Every time I said something, I noticed that people weren't responding the way I expected. If I told a joke, they all looked uncomfortable. If I agreed with someone about something, they thought I was being sarcastic. When I got a ride home, I was very grateful. When I told the PF what had happened (and why I was 2 hours later than I thought I'd be) he called me Cheechnchong, which made me feel like an a-hole. I tried to be funny, make a joke, but he sent me to bed and said "Go sleep it off." Which I did. He told me once he ate a brownie that made him sick for a day and a half. That scared me into bed. Until a couple of hours ago.

Now I'm fine. I feel like a complet dipshit, though.

In other news:

Amelie font. Nice, non?

~Amelie La Font

9:17 AM

Saturday, June 05, 2004  
I am in my office at work. Why, you ask?

Why, because. I chartered a bus for my boss and his pals to go to SF today for a fundraiser with W------ B-----.

Only, the bus broke down in Dixon with 2 flat tires. And They are all trying to get taxis to the event that starts, oh, 2 minutes ago.

I've already had a busy busy day. I got up at 7 to feed baby birds for 4 hours. Then, I bought some great cowboy boots from Stylish Ella C. at the Sierra II complex fleamarket (annual, big, fun, Maya came too, Seamas was a hit as was Chelsea, Kim's dog). Then, I took Wingnut to the vet again, as his eye is NOT cleared up. And they said I need a fancy schmancy cat opthamalogist, and charged me a health exam fee for a recheck, which I am annoyed at. Anyway. My poor cat is STILL not out of the water. And then I came home, got ready for a bbq/followed by kickball (which I wasn't sure if I could make) followed by a party at 6 PM I am supposed to be at (except that I re read the invite, and at least that is for tomorrow)...I've had a busy day. SO, I had a beer at the bbq. And a strange little brownie. Not knowing that not even 30 minutes later, I'd have to be rescuing people in Dixon by remote.

And NOW, I'm in my office waiting for my boss to call to tell me everything is allright. UGH.

I'm also sunburned and I want to cry. Afterwards, I'm supposed to go back to the bbq bday. But I'm barely in the mood to look at people. I feel SOOOO stupid. Plus, I have to drive. Which is slowly becoming more scary as I sit here, since every second counts...good lord.

I know I'm going to get blamed for the charter bus incident forever and ever and ever...

PF is sleeping at my house after an all day fishing tournament. These wipe him out. I can't even ask him to come drive me because he's easily in worse shape than I am. Christ, I'm a lightweight.

And I realized I wore a red red shirt with a pink skirt today. I thought the skirt had red in it, but no, it has faded to hot pink. So I also look a bit more retarded than usual. Grrrrreat.

~Amelie, what a fucking hellish saturday. And there're still 6 hours left.

6:04 PM

Reagan died! Like 35 minutes ago or something crazy like that. I can still recall when I was 10 and yelled to my mom, who was on the phone, that Reagan was shot and killed!!! I exagerate a lot, even back then. My mom was both horrified and excited. That was 1981 or 82. She slapped me on the head and said "don't say things like that." Probably because GWBI would have been worse, and she knew it.

It's not sad exactly. It's more like "well, finally." I don't feel glad that this poor old fella died. I would have been glad 20 years ago, or even 15 years ago, when I really despised him.

But now I just feel like it's amazing he lived so long. And the last decade hasn't exactly been fun for him.

Anyway. Glad it's over.

Poor ol' fella.

~Amelie, noting a dead president.

4:12 PM

Friday, June 04, 2004  
A levee broke last night. The Jone's tract in the delta is currently flooding with an onslaught of water. I know PF has 2 things on his mind: is the break big enough to navigate with a boat and how long will it take for the flooded island to fill with fish??

That's not true, he'd have a modicum of concern for the balance of ecosystems and some concern for the poor folks rushed away at night by the raging waters, but I know my PF. Mainly, it's more water to explore. You can't blame him. It's really fun to putter a boat around out there and explore, explore, explore the river like an old timey river rat.

It's just sad that people were rushed out of their homes and probably watched their orchards and crops melt away in the briney water mix that poured onto their property. See, these "islands" aren't really islands at all, instead they are sunken behind embankments dredged by the Chinese in the late 1800s (you know, after they finished the transcontinental railroad and before they moved to Marin and set up bay shrimping export empires.) It's a little like I'd imagine the Nederlands. Only not as cold. Okay, never as cold.

It's great there. Some places look like vast grasslands (but really they are marshes a la the everglades) and some areas look like jungles or forests. It's mosquito filled and old fashioned. The towns are falling apart, but still kicking and novel to the unintiated. I think it's beatiful and corrupt and sad and wonderful all at the same time.

The Delta is really a treasure.

It's sad that an entire tract is gone. I wonder if we've motored around it before?? I know I've seen it on a map, and it's a biggun.

I feel bad that the farmers are going to lose water and that it's now too salty because of the "water suck" of osmosis. But the tracts are unnatural. I firmly believe that nature will eventually fix itself somehow.

I do not understand, however, how the government makes plans and never follows through. If you plan to repair these levees, REPAIR THEM.

The worst broadcast on NPR (via CPR here in Sacto): the reported explained how the levee failed: "Water either flowed over, through, or under the levee."

Good lord. Thank you for the explanation on dyke failure. Dam you.

~Amelie, Delta Dawn

2:18 PM

Thursday, June 03, 2004  
It's official!

The Auburn Boat Club apologized profusely by phone and asked a lot of questions about the aforementioned incident.

Nice people. Worried about how they look, and rightfully so!

With caretakers like that, who needs PR?

~Amelie, feeling good in the neighborhood.

5:00 PM

George Tenet resigned last night! I finally had some time to read the article, but Maya did mention it first to me. They are citing personal reasons, but that's ambiguous enough to make me think the CIA is hurting under allegations and investigations of bad badness. Worse than normal badness.

Interesting. When will Rice resign? I would hope it's soon. Probably not though.

It almost makes me want candy to celebrate! I probably need a carb or two beyond the rice I had with lunch. Mainly because of all that walking upstairs and downstairs. I feel like a worn out rag doll. And my new blue sandals made my feet turn blue where they cut into my skin, so I'm now demarcated. And low blood sugar. But still willing to whoop it up a little.

The other odd news is that Al Sharpton is now a news commentator??


Edit: maya is saying my celebrations are premature bc tenet was a clinton appointee and it gives the repugs leeway to blame the WMD shenanigans on the dems. But I don't get how: if the CIA made mistakes, they are accountable. If they deliberately assisted the Bush regime in misleading the US citizenry, the top guy should be held accountable. If he's actually got some personal issues, then I'd hope he was now going to get time to resolve them. She is correct, though. What it means is...Bush gets to appoint someone to the head of the CIA. Carbs being destroyed left and right....

~Amelie, joyous but confused.

3:51 PM

Brulte is now in 5082
Today is a crazy day. It was pretty crazy, because I'm the only one in the office today, and everyone is emailing me last minute things. Like letter deliveries at the Capitol. Except that they didn't tell me that the Senate Daily File was wrong, and that Senator Brulte is no longer in room 305. After I delivered about 50 letters by hand starting on floor 6, I found out that:

Knight is now in 4066

Ackerman is now in 305

And BRULTE, is in 5082.

But...that daily file still says 305. The capitol annex has Brulte listed as 4066, 205, 305, and 5082 depending on what floor you are on.

The capitol directory operator is 2 days behind; their computer still says Brulte is in 4066. Why, that's DAYS old info. As in two whole days old. Stupid musical offices playing senators. You'd think they'd let people KNOW when they switched offices.

I’m exhausted. I was too busy to wait for the stupid elevators, so I climbed, descended, climbed, descended all the floors at least 3 times looking for this guy's office. He was my LAST LETTER and it took me longer to deliver that stupid one than to deliver all 60 of the others. Ugh.

~Amelie a besoin du cafe. Maintenant alors, vite! vite....

2:14 PM

Wednesday, June 02, 2004  
Well, this is pretty frightening. In its own spooky little biotech way. Why do we fuck around with stuff like this? Why can't we just experiment on bacteria in a biohazard lab??? Why do we mess with things that BEES can carry on their innocent little leg pouches?

In other news,

Maya, PF and I went camping for one night at Lake Clementine. Don't go there. On second thought, go there. And fish. Fish like mad. Float in your boat, fish, and bump up against the private marina rented by the Auburn Boat Club (mysteriously, the Auburn Boat Club has no contact info. Anywhere.) Be careful on your way down to the boat launch, though. Our brakes went out.

See, we went camping on the ultra-caucasian, teeny lake, boated in to our site, and then took a tour of the 3 mile long lake while PF fished and fished. We floated and trolled (or trulled?) all the way to the front of the lake. PF wiggled his boat into a "private marina" that held all of 10 boats, if that. We saw a catfish about 2' long, and a few bass he went after but did not catch, and then we trolled our way out. Suddenly, an ugly curly-gray mulleted older guy (either very tan, or partly latino) with a red plastic cup, came out of the bushes on the bank lunging and screaming that we were breaking the law and going into the private dock was illegal. PF tried to explain that it wasn't, that federal laws protected law abiding fisherfolk and their boats, and that navigability access laws applied perfectly. That if he had stepped OFF his boat and onto the "private docks", he would have been trespassing, dig? But the guy screamed he didn't care what the law was, and that we were trespassing and we better get the hell out. Then he slipped on the bank, spilled his beer everywhere, and nearly fell in. Maya and I stared straight ahead, and PF cast his line at the guy's feet. PF said "Fine." (but what he meant was "I'm getting all my fishing buddies to come out here and fish your docks until you can't stand it anymore.") We tried not to laugh at the dumbass, but I watched him go sit down and smoke his sweet, sweet cigarette and nurse his final sips of unspilt beer. PF fished the dam, and then went back along THE OUTSIDE of the dock, where they sell gas-o-line, apparently. The mullet man came down to the docks with his own fishing pole. We heard him get a telephone call. We were about 100 yards away, when this brassy older lady with no bra called us back over. She called like this, "C'mover here, I wanna talk to ya." Meanly, though. She then proceeded to tell PF that this was a PRIVATE dock and that he BROKE THE LAW and that if he CAME AGAIN, she'd do something. And that her man told her we'd been BACK INSIDE again, and that we didn't listen. And she kept babbling. And then I could tell he was pissed. He calmly told her SHE was the one breaking the law, actually, by hindering a law abiding fisherman and that he had every right to fish anywhere he could navigate his boat, and that the boat club didn't own the lake or the water or the fish. She looked a little stunned a few times, but insisted she'd been told what to do and no one was to come inside. She screamed she didn't care, that it was a dock rented by the Auburn Boat Club since 1952...blah blah...I jumped in right about then, mainly because I was waffling between laughing at her hysterics, and getting pissed because I know PF knows what he's talking about. I told her, very clearly, that if they had put up a rope, it would have ended it right there (saying please and thank you would have ended it as well), and if the boat club had instructed her to keep people away from the docks who were not breaking laws, then she was now committing a crime on their behalf, and they'd been breaking the law as well, and that all they needed to do to inhibit navigability was to rope off the entrance. "It's a federal law." I said; "That's about as strong as it gets." She said "You can kiss my lily white ass, you BITCH!!" I said "Yeah, you're pretty "white". Why don't you go on back up to your trailer, now?" (This was totally appropriate: their trailer was at the top of the staircase leading down to the docks.)

After we were leaving the scene of the hysterical women screaming at each other (I also mouthed off and called her a cow, and for that I'm sorry. I should have called her an udderly disgusting braless ugly cow. She wasn't as good as a regular cow.)

Another lame caucasoid boater motored over to us to warn us off and tell us to stop giving her shit, "Don't give her shit, guys, c'mon...EVERYONE fucks with her." Yeah. All articulate an' shit. Like we started ANYTHING. Again, PF tried to tell the guy the law, but he, stupidly, said "Yeah, but people go in there and vandalize and steal." Must be because PF is one of them lying wily chinaman and Maya is an obviously "white man's property stealing" negress and I'm a race traitor, so obviously "we are a suspicious lot." It was about that time that I noticed other boaters/campers (all white) staring at us from the banks as we puttered the motor through the no wake zones. I stared back. I think Maya met every eye, too.

Later, a very ashamed but still adorable mutton-chopped assistant caretaker park ranger came out to get our side of the story. I said "did they tell you the guy threw BEER at us??" (yeah, I exagerated. A little. Shut up, PF.) He apologized for "the conflict" but warned us off the marina because he didn't know the law, but didn't want any more trouble. "Because then the RANGER gets involved...and then camping might be shut down..." Which made me REALLY angry. I said "No one calls me a bitch." And breaks the law. And harrasses my boyfriend. And makes it look like we are problem campers. And still keeps their job.

So now.

I'm in the process of filing multiple complaints against everyone. Stupid Auburn SRA. You will be VERY sorry you rented some space on Lake Clementine (not even a REAL lake) to The Elusive Auburn Boat Club.

Oh, and in TexASS???

Hindering a law abiding fisherman who is fishing a private dock? Punishable by both fines and 2 years in prison. Gotta love republicans sometimes.

~Amelie, by any navigable means.

2:23 PM

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