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Saturday, January 31, 2004  
So, I'm heading over to Erica's in a few minutes to practice Agility with Seamas (first actual class is Monday) and I called her last night.

What does she tell me about?

The newest new wrongest wrong of all.

She's convinced that a woman came up with it, because only a woman would know how attached to these things men are. Seems like an easy way to make a quick buck off some dumbass.

In other news, I was awakened to GWB telling John Q. Public that no new or extra spending will happen, without equivalent cuts, in his new budget plan. So, I propose we cut his salary, his travel, his food per diems and stop paying his rent, and included are all the salaries/per diems etc. of his highest officials, while we pay off the debt for this lovely little war. Because what, that would only take about 4 trillion years...

Here's a new one dumbass president of ours: howzabout IF we need to spend more, we simply EARN more???? Why don't you figure out ways to employ the masses in satisfactorily paying jobs??? And while you're at it, tax all the brats like the Hilton Sisters a hell of a lot extra just for being annoying? And their parents for giving birth?

Or, howzabout: Why don't you shut up? Instead of sending our young taxpaying, hardworking, men and women off to die in the desert?

Boy is he dumb. The only way GWB could possibly win my favor now? Fire yr cabinet, sir. They are making The People hate you even more.

~Amelie, The People are now depressed on a sunny Saturday no less.

9:35 AM

Friday, January 30, 2004  
I cannot remember if I have plans for tonight.

I have plans Saturday and Sunday all day long, and I can't remember if I planned something to do tonight because I didn't write it down.

I'm going to go home and go to bed early, I think.

~Amelie, who seriously cannot remember.

1:23 PM

If you don't read The Rumblelizard yet, you should. I just found out Dean's campaign is outta money. I only know thanks to her timely posting of such news. Probably because she wakes up at least 3 hours before my alarm goes off... This just found: More Stuff To Piss You Off. Makes me want to send my 25 bucks to Dean.

I woke up today in a pretty good mood for a change. Lately it's been very depressing. But Monday is agility, which will save my Monday, and the Weekend Is Planned For Fun! Many thanks for Friday, Labor Party.

In other news, your friend and mine Ladybug will be playing flute in an ensemble......AT CARNEGIE HALL!!! She says everyone's been giving her the practice, practice, practice joke. So I won't. But I'm sincerely impressed. The fundraiser for the trip is February 25, but the group should set up a paypal button so that folks can donate. I just think that this is so lovely and amazing! Carnegie Hall. What a hoot! She should flaunt that flute.

~Amelie, who is still blown away.

9:19 AM

Thursday, January 29, 2004  
How I know I'd be an obnoxious mom:

I get all excited when the paradise fish on my desk makes a doodie.

~Amelie, "Sweet Pea! That's a BIGGUN! Good girl," La Bonne

2:45 PM

Wednesday, January 28, 2004  
I have come to the conclusion that I need to quit drinking. After adding up all the calories from normal meals today, and then adding on the 5 little balls of mango mochi ice cream that I bought at Trader Joe's, it's definitely the 3.5 glasses of cheap red wine that put me too far over.

That, and I forgot how to purl.



10:06 PM

Funny joke posted on group website by The Guph:

US Attorney General Ashcroft is visiting an elementary school. After the typical
civics presentation to the class, he announces, "All right, boys and girls, you
can all ask me questions now."

A young boy named Bobby raises his hand and says, "I have three questions:

1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why are you using the Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?
3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?"

Just then the bell sounds and all the kids run out to the playground. Fifteen
minutes later, the kids come back in class and again. Ashcroft says, "I'm sorry
we were interrupted by the bell. Now, you can all ask me questions."

A young girl named Charlene raises her hand and says, "I have five questions:

1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why are you using the Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?
3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?
4. Why did the bell go off 20 minutes early? and
5. Where's Bobby?"

Thank you, my darling Guphums.

4:07 PM

How bad is California? This bad.

I have my own theories.

I love California, I will probably not move to Canada any time soon. However, it appeals to me every so often.

Especially when I read articles that say I will never be able to buy a house. Ever. And my rent? Will just keep getting more expensive because it can.

~Amelie, who can knit AND purl.

11:39 AM

Tuesday, January 27, 2004  
Dani made me laugh by posting this papal pap.

Tonight is a Knittin' Kittens first. I am resigned to learn how to knit. I think beer will help. My crocheted scarf that I started back when I was unemployed is a big thick square of blue nothing. However, it's so warm looking that I wish I'd finished it.

Anyway, tonight it starts.

I've got my stitch n bitch book, my DIY girl handbook, my knitting needles, lots of yarn (however I'm hoping Maya can pick me up some good red and orange and hot pink yarn for a scarf I'm intrigued by), a crochet hook, my scissors, and some other junk. There's a nice group of grrls going to a bar to drink beer and learn to knit ensemble. In short, it's immersion time. It's going to happen. I'm only hoping that I get as good at it as my mom, who can swing a few needles around and slap out blankets, slippers, and baby clothes like it's fun or something. She never drinks beer, though. So I'm betting mine comes out MUCH better.

If you've never seen Moe's dog sweater for Seymour, you should check out that site (Those Moes, 12 | 25 | 03). She's another one of my inspirations. I worry I won't get that good, though. Poor Seamas. He'd wear anything I made him, wouldn't he...

Edited to include the dog sweater without searching
Crafting Girls.

It's a good thing.

~Amelie, intimidated by my own books.

11:42 AM

Monday, January 26, 2004  
Well, hold on to your hats California...and tighten your belts.

We are pretty much heading towards bankruptcy. State Has No Way to Avoid Loans, LA Times I think it's pretty much unheard of that the 5th largest economy in the entire world is pretty much sinking.

It's a sobering thought. But we knew it was going to happen, didn't we?

Sometimes I think you should have to pass a test in order to vote; I'm not saying "jim crow literacy tests", I'm saying people who vote need to be able to explain the big picture. I'm sick of them being sold on media representations of things, I want them to read and understand what they are about to decide. Yes, your vote is a drop in the bucket. But if your entire neighborhood knows what it's voting on, then I'm more comfortable with the 1/4 cup of water you were a part of.

If we don't pass a long term bond (yes Maya, now I remember), we won't be able to pay any of our contracts, or make good on any of the promises. This is what happens when we elect a well-to-do, however well-intended, Austrian ex-patriate who is enamored with all the trappings of power. He is, of course, paralyzed. Because we were screwed in 2000 and you can't clean that mess up by "cutting" everything. Because cutting everything doesn't make people happy. They only think they are happy because promising the cutting of the "car tax" (Schwarz was elected on such a promise) means you freed up $400 USD. However, it's likely going to cost those same voters $600 average EACH in fees, taxes, and generalized wage cuts, just to break even again at the State level. Not to mention the fact that we now need to borrow billions of dollars. It's hard to say "new business, new jobs" when you just essentially cut the heads off of thousands of California families because their main breadwinners worked at state jobs, jobs whose salaries cannot be paid anymore. Because you cut the car tax.

Sure, there's waste and fluff and encumbered money waiting to be spent. But not enough to fix things, so fix them FIRST. And then go back and see what you can cut. Why, it might be the equivalent of an interest payment on 15 billion dollars.

15 billion dollars is so vast that I can't even wrap my brain around it. I don't even want to think about the 450 Trillion USD we now owe due to the pResident's plans to take over the Middle East. It will make me sick.

So, if you finally bring us some jobs, Shwarzie? Make sure those new businesses pay more than 15 bucks an hour and that they have benefits.


2:32 PM

According to AWEA, coal, oil, and natural gas burning powerplants could be mothballed if windmills were in place across the US. Can you imagine a planet where everyone used electricity created by wind, solar, geothermal and bio renewables? All you have to do is collect the energy via DIRECT GENERATION. You don't have to dig it out, drill it up, tank it, burn it, or pay for it. All you do is set up collection, and wire it away to users. Yes, more involved than that, but honestly? Not much more.

Why is it not happening? No incentives in many states. NPR did a story on a farmer in Iowa that I thought was facinating. It was not much more than a blurb, but it was really interesting.

Wind is a great way to subsidize farmers. Farm industry is not what it used to be, there are no incentives (again) to produce "quality" because there's such a high "quantity" of livestock, foodstuffs, etc. being grown/raised. Farms are expensive to maintain and run, and farmers don't make much money. Until they sell their lands to developers. A windmill on windy farms? Could produce 3-4 times what a farm actually needs. This could generate income if the electricity produced was net-metered. All that means is, if you produce more electricity than you need, the energy utility pays you some money. If you don't make enough, but you feed into the grid, the company charges you less (because you are using energy you are producing for your main energy and only dragging a little off the grid). If you only make enough energy to keep your farm/home/corporation going, then they don't charge you anything because you break even.

Iowa is apparently one of 20 states that don't net meter, even though a law passed in 1978 says they have to if someone wants to directly produce energy on their property.

This fella Greg Swecker bought a windmill for $45,000 USD. He put it on his property. Midland energy won't let him hook it up. Why? Because they would have to pay him money and they don't want to do it. So far, he's gone to court more than 3 times to force them to let him, but they still won't do it. Apparently they'd rather burn coal. You can listen to the NPR story.

I really was blown away by the rep who said basically that Midland would rather keep going to court to force this guy to quit trying to make them hook him up so they don't have to pay him, because that would encourage other farmers to try to get away with not paying for electricity. He said that all the other Midland customers would be "subsidizing" this guy's windmill because he only used 40,000 watts a year and would be "selling back" about 80,000 (clean) watts of electricity to the grid for other people to use. Basically, customers, if not having to pay for collection/transport/burning/pollution mitigation, would have cheaper electricity rates in the first place. I"m really not sure how customers don't already subsidize coal mining and oil drilling and natural gas tapping...The rep was actually indignant that there were rules that said "you must buy this" type of energy, he acted very libertarian about it all. However, no libertarian farmer who wanted to sell some free wind would be against a windmill. Because they ain't stupid. I couldn't believe the GALL of the Midland Cooperative. Basically, they would buy this guy's wind energy, but only at wholesale, and then they would SELL energy BACK to him at retail. Which is not what the law says. The law says if he hooks in, they owe him cold hard cash just for letting a windmill turn in his yard for free money. But they'd rather pay the coal industry to rape the mountains of Kentucky. Because Iowans apparently do not understand promoting economic incentives to do something wonderful for other people. And don't tell me "oh, the miners will lose their jobs." Which is something a Republican said to me recently. I'm baffled. Jobs should be "good", not painful. Do you really think the coal miners harvesting chunks of old rock are so completely stupid that they couldn't be trained to build windmills in a factory? Or photovoltaic solar cells? Or be trained to install these things on properties? Or be trained to do maintenance, upkeep and repair on big powerplants? I'd be so happy knowing that their wives weren't going to be Black Lung Widows anymore. Or that the crude oil pump guys weren't going to be exposed to cancer causing substances.

And yeah, windmills kill birds. Therefore, engineers have devloped windmills that crank s-l-o-w-l-y (yet powerfully thanks to greater torque) so that birds could get out of the way. It's a simple solution, really. It's not something that should make you say "Oh dear, we should cancel this project IMMEDIATELY!" If God did that, we wouldn't have any cats; they kill more birds than windmills do. Nope, just slow them down a little, chop up less of the little buggers. I'm willing to bet that we have lost more miners and starved more of their families due to coal dust exposure, and that more people get and die of asthma because of breathing thick smoke, than birds have died in Altamont Pass.

I'm just amazed at the lies people are willing to swallow to keep from making changes that make sense. If you grew lettuce in your damn backyard, would you be BUYING it at SAFEWAY, covered in petrochemical fertilizer and pesticides, for 3 times the price??

We are in love with pollution.

Oh, how do I know that Iowa burns coal instead?

It's not exactly news.

Iowa, you stink. Clean your crap up and quit persecuting people who just want to make a clean, honest, easy buck.

And that goes for the other 20 states that don't allow net metering as well.

~Amelie, hating ridiculous people once again.

And yeah, I love my new job. I've learned a lot about how to articulate the things that baffle me. The senseless things that used to enrage me about the way stuff actually works? I now know there are people advocating to change them.

11:41 AM

Sunday, January 25, 2004  

I'm only saying this once. I was wrong about Zachary's Pizza. I retract all previous disparaging comments. And then I'd like to qualify why I used to think it sucked:

The only other time I'd been there, I ate a regular slice of pizza, and it sucked. And I never went back.

All other subsequent Chicago style pizza experience (all 2, I should say) were attempted at Zelda's in Sacto, which REALLY sucks. It's like eating vomit and cheese baked into a quiche. It's so bad, I cry thinking about it, and it caused me to seriously shy away from all things deep dish. It's so bad, I think there are some perfectly nice people that I think may be crazy, because they enjoy the crud (and they are wrong. So very horribly wrong...)

But, we were hungry today. And we picked up Jamie in Lake Merritt. And we headed to Zachary's in Rockridge. And I had a slice of stuffed mushroom and spinach pizza.

And then I ate another piece. And then I ate a pepperoni one, because this could NOT be happening, the "conversion", that is...

And lo, I stand before you now with head hung low and humbled.

Because I am really full of fantastic pizza and...youwereallrightandIwaswrong....

Other things I did that surprised me this weekend:
-whipped out my possum fur nipple warmers from NZ (courtesy of Allykat) to show a bunch of women walking dogs in Alamo Square out at night in the cold.
-used the PF's soap. I'm now thinking Irish Spring ain't so horrifying.
-put together a desk at work with very little help and a crap manual. I now have a blister from the screwdriver as we have no drill...

Other good news: Seamas got into Agility!!! We are paid and ready for classes. He is very excited. About his new liver treats that I bought specially for this undertaking.

~Amelie, full of yum.

11:11 PM

Thursday, January 22, 2004  
Do you think this is for real?

I don't care THAT much, but I was really getting sick of them being called Bennifer. Yick. Or maybe it's just a sick ploy to keep the media away. Not that it matters. They are both paparazzi whores.

In more pleasant news, Heather from Tonevendor posted about this dress on our craft site.
Pretty great. Considering how many bent umbrellas I have tossed out. Although I'm more likely to make a raincoat out of it than a goth-y dress, it's definitely something good to gawk and marvel at.

~Amelie, reconsidering recycling

5:20 PM

Wednesday, January 21, 2004  
I didn't watch the State of The Union address. I didn't have to.

Maya watched it for me, poor girl. Now she has to have her eyeballs decontaminated and her ears swabbed out from being exposed to this festering crap.

2:04 PM

Tuesday, January 20, 2004  
I could find so many uses for this. Magnetic paint to cause surfaces to be attractive to your magnets. Hmm. My mind wanders.

Yesterday my pal Kim gave me a Christmas and Birthday present. Glass spice jars etched with tiny dragonflies. I nearly wept. I think I'm going to play with glass etching cream too. You make your own stencils, cut them out, adhere them to the surface, tape down the areas you don't want marred, and thickly coat the stencilled area. Then you wash it off with warm water. Ta-Dah! I'm sure it's slightly harder than it sounds, but not much harder.

How do I know this? Because the other present was the big Michael's Book On Arts And Crafts.

Neat, non? I can practice on all those ugly glass vases we have at work.

~Amelie, who's PF bought her a pewter Seamas lapel pin. I am wearing it now.

9:54 AM

Monday, January 19, 2004  
Someone is abusing Stephen Hawking. Which I think is completely freaky. Jeez louise. And it's even weirder that he apparently won't tell who it is. I mean, really. He must know who is injuring him. His family is flipping out. I wonder who he's protecting? Should be scandalous if they are suspecting Munchausen by proxy.

In other news, I agreed some two weeks ago to go see Al Franken speak at a sold-out fundraising engagement for KPFA. It was an accident that I agreed, but I knew even then not to call and change the plan. Because I knew I'd like it. I am now inclined to say THANK YOU to everyone I went with (you all rock ass), as I was feeling very disagreable about it all beforehand. I am just so oogie lately. Not myself. Really angry. It's all personal crap, but boy, can I be put over the edge lately. Just getting a phone call about possibly planning the standing-in-line early? Made me cry. So weird. Anyway.

I completely enjoyed myself last night. Other two authors that I enjoyed just as well were Kevin Phillips and Paul Krugman. Krugman, I vaguely recall reading for grad school econ. Crap, I could have brought Peddling Prosperity to be signed. Because of the early line standing by the Moes, we got fabulous seats. Because of the AllyKat, we got tickets before they sold out. Because of the Molly, we got there in comfort with time to spare. Because of the Maya, I went anyway since she talked me into it twice. Hurrah. Did I mention that I love my friends? 8 of us. And we sat together, which was a feat of it's own. As freaks from behind us actually rushed the doors when they opened. FREAKS!

My favorite discussion was actually Kevin Phillips, who articulately broke down the weirdness dynasty of the Bush familia. But Franken and Krugman were so interesting and funny as well. That Franken. He's a funny guy.


10:39 AM

Friday, January 16, 2004  
So, a bunch of us gals went to see Monster last night. For what it's worth, I think Theron deserves an oscar.

Had I seen it last year, it would have been on the list.

And I also wanted to say this: yes, Charlize Theron is a very pretty actress. However, the character she played was not "ugly". She was rough cut. Her life, if portrayed correctly, was extremely sad and ugly. And rough. And Theron? Is a ballet dancer. Her body is not normally "normal". Her face is not normally freckled. Her eyebrows and her hair are not normally bleached-by-the-sun looking. She doesn't normally look desperate. The critics are paying an awful lot of attention to the "look" as if it's ugly. It's not. It's sad.

And she had the idea of the character down. I mean, she was like all the street people I have ever worked with, only tougher. She was like every butch woman I have ever met rolled into one. She was like every despondent woman I've ever worked with who was desperate enough to try to make ends meet somehow. She was raw and amazing.

And I definitely want to see the documentaries about Aileen Wuornos. Who I am now sympathetic to.

~Amelie, monster lover.

1:20 PM

Two things

There are two things I cannot find on the internet.

One is the story of Experience Bozarth. She was a woman who, with a bunch of revolutionaries in her attic recuperating from their battle wounds, disemboweled or beheaded 3 British conscripts (usually criminals) who were AWOL from their troops and drunkenly meandering the countryside in search of booty. In fact, I count her, and Emma Goldman, as my two biggest heroes. But I could only find her birthdate, in Virginia. No mention of her heroic acts. Probably because, well, no one likes to think of 50 something year old widows, who normally deliver babies, killing a few guys with her wood axe. But she did. Maybe some feminist historian will tell me where to find the entire story. The only thing I'm finding is a bizarre incident with Indians attacking Mr. and Mrs. George Bozarth, killing everyone except Mrs. B and 2 of her sons and taking them captive. They were later released. This is NOT the story I know, but it sure is interesting! Man. Those Bozarths see some action.

The other thing I'm trying to find is a complete history of a mass murder that took place in California back when it was still Mexico (and yes, we were once in Mexico, not the other way around). A Spanish rancher on Bear Mountain (it could have been closer to Ojai, actually), who had a uniquely horrifying disgust of the "Indios" on "his" property, eventually stopped harrassing them because he found a permanent way to relieve himself of them. He invited the entire tribe of some 50 men, women, and children (probably a Chumash type tribe) to a "fiesta". Where he butcheredd 3 calves. And they all ate and drank and danced. And died. Because he had poisoned them all down the last newborn baby. And then he buried them in a mass grave on his property. Possibly an entire tribe was wiped out, seeing as how there were many unique little family clans running around California's mountains ranges back then (with unique and isolated cultures and languages as well). Very sad. I remember reading about it in a California historical magazine, but I can't find the blasted thing online to search the archives.

Man. Why is it that what I want, for my personal knowledge, I cannot find on the internet?

~Amelie, historienne d'amature

12:29 PM

Thursday, January 15, 2004  
While I don't think it's a "Bad" thing to eat brains, there's something aesthetically unpleasing about the idea and the photo in this article.

Jeez louise. I nearly puked up my green tea.

~Amelie, no brains

4:55 PM

Horrifying. Western expansion=bland, sad, blah, fat infested, pathetic food. And apparently it's being embraced by folks who have great diets. Till now.
I'm not saying the US doesn't have a lot to give. I'm just saying, we should give more than a paper thin patty and floppy sad pickles. Get addicted to dark blue Levi's, for pete's sake.

Very disturbing.

McDonald's is a blight on the world.

~Amelie, not a blight.

11:16 AM

Wednesday, January 14, 2004  
Okay, so I am a dork and never looked at the Trekkies 2 website. I should've. "Cat, the Other White Meat" is now an international movie star. As is Dave Smith.


I'm too lazy to figure out how to link it, so you will just have to go to the photos section yourself and scroll down to Sacramento.


11:53 PM

Ed is now located here. He mentioned Bad Santa as a top 10. I have to agree, so make that # 11 on my list.

I'm very tired today. Probably because I was so hyper yesterday.


11:51 AM

Tuesday, January 13, 2004  
********INSANELY GOOD********

Cream of Cauliflower Soup

1 large bag frozen cauliflower (thawed)
1/2 small yellow onion
2 small yellow potatoes
3 cups organic vegetable broth (I subbed organic chicken broth)
3 cups nonfat milk
1 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp white pepper (or black. I used black)
Bragg's Amino Acids (or Tamari or sea salt) to taste
1 tsp butter

Chop onion, soften in 2 quart covered stockpot with the butter. When the onions are sweating, add the milk and broth, stir in the nutmeg and pepper, bring it to a simmer. Chop the potatoes (I left the skins on). Add the thawed cauliflower and the potato to the soup. Simmer until potato and cauliflower is soft and mushy. Add the Bragg's (or sea salt or tamari) Blend the cooled soup in a blender until thick and creamy. Warm it again and serve. I think it serves 6 since my brother and I each had a large bowl and barely made a dent in it. You can either completely puree it, or leave a few bits of veggies unblended for texture.

It's really low in fat and carbs, full of satisfying fiber, and soooo damn good.

~amelie, elle fait cuire le potage

10:17 PM


Spaulding Gray is missing. That's sad! Guphy asked if I'd read the paper today and I hadn't, but now I have and I'm sad!

I saw him live in Campbell Hall, 1995.


2:15 PM


Think this email contained a virus?

Luckily, I don't have a citibank card. But you know, if they had sent a capital one email, I would have clicked it automatically.

Dear Citi-Card Cardholder,

This e-mail was sennt by the OnlineCitibank sevrer to veerify your e-mail
address. You must cplmeote this precoss by clicking on the link
below and enntering in the little window your Citi-bank ATM
Card nummber and Card Pin that you use on local Atm.
This is done for your prcotetion -u- becouse some of our members no
lenogr have acsecs to their email adsredses and we must verify it.

To veerify your e-mail address and access your Citibank-Online account, clik on
the link bellow. If nothing hapneps when you clic on the link -7 copie
and pastte the link into the address bar of your web browser.
It's so badly spelled that I actually laughed.

Laughing is good when you're getting depressed.

Last night I got a call from the PF and he made me laugh. I said I was feeling not so pretty/sexy even though I'm very fit and healthy and exercise a lot and that should give me energy. But I'm feeling sluggish.

Somehow the conversation turned into him challenging me to a footrace because he was The Fastest Boy. He was judged The Fastest Boy in 1971.

The PF was 6 back then.

I know The Fastest Boy in 1971. I asked, "So, how come you don't run anymore?"

He said, "Running is boring."

~Amelie, GF of The Fastest Boy.

10:56 AM

Monday, January 12, 2004  

Did I not say it?

Here comes the next super nasty/super mutant flu. From Vietnam.

Poor chickens. More than likely, they were raised so tightly close together, it's no wonder diseases like these flus spread like wildfire through entire chicken populations. And what do humans do the world over? We slaughter them and start raising a new batch of replacements, pump them full of antibiotics... get them fat enough....pump a bolt into their heads.

I know these Mad Cow calves and these chickens were all destined for the slaughterhouse anyway, but it makes me sad that their little lives were such a waste. And why? Because of the conditions they were raised in. We slap them into cages where they can't move and feed them the waste offal of their grandparents.

I tells ya, if I didn't like meat so much, I'd stop eating it now. I'm weaning...but the things that are making it harder and harder to stomach? The way we are so happy to eat misery, and then we're "baffled" at the illnesses we create (or compound the effects of).

~Amelie, cow lover.

PS: Turbo the Mini Moo has cousins in South Africa!! The first baby mini moos were born there. This is probably the future of beef. People with .5 acres will start raising their own miniature milk and beef cattle. The future is microfarming.

9:02 AM

Friday, January 09, 2004  
Want to know what's a good flick?

This is. And I can say that with dramatic gusto, as I've now seen it twice and still been totally amazed.

My (very normal) coworker loaned it to me, and I kind of just nodded when he said "it has the most brutal rape scene and the most brutal murder, but I keep watching it because I really like how it's filmed. I've seen it 4X and I'm not bored". I was not bored with Amelie, obviously, so I understand the need to see a film more than once. But "brutal" murder and rape? No thanks.

However, I made Alice and Maya watch it last night. And even though I have 3 greencine dvds sitting in my living room, I made Ally watch it tonight because I wanted to watch it yet again. This time, however, I opened a bottle of wine and made myself watch the "scary" stuff. It's rough, people.

And in French with subtitles, although it shoots off into Spanish once in awhile. Although I'd love to hear from some french folks who saw it. I want to know if they had to subtitle it for you as well, since it's hard to hear in general.

And hard to watch. Sometimes dizzingly so. Like the camera is a character, or you are a ghost.

It's about emotion. Backwards character building and rawness. It's raw, folks. Not pretty like Amelie Poulain.

Non, this movie? Pain. Yet intensely satisfying. And the end is bittersweet, of course, because you know the REAL end.

I have read reviews that call it homophobic (but I really think it's not; the pain parts? Are about PAIN. It's just pervy pain.) It's really raw, without being pornographic. It's really painful, without making you think "violence is gratuitous". And, it goes backwards. Watch the scenes. Tell me the camera work is not amazing.

And Monica Belluci is beautiful. I like her dress, although I think no one else does.

Both times I have seen it, I showed my friends present my sad bosom. I have no idea why; although tonight I was wined up. I can hold a full coke can up with 'em, but you'd never suspect it. And then I talked about how when I am threatened, I attack first. See the movie. It will make you seriously wonder what YOU'D do in that situation as a woman, yet you won't think Monica Belluci was pathetic. Now I want to read Alice Siebold's Lucky.

Okay. I'm done now. See the film. Irreversible.

If you have seen it, what did you think?? I keep thinking "ouch." And now I want to see Monster.


11:24 PM

Thursday, January 08, 2004  
The Frenchmen have a website! Go Frenchies!

4:25 PM

Wednesday, January 07, 2004  
Dirty Bomb Detectors. This is just weird and sci-fi.

What are your top ten movies seen in the theater in 2003?

Mine, in no particular order:

Kill Bill I
Return Of The King
American Splendor
Lost In Translation
The Cooler
Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind
Cold Mountain
28 Days Later
21 Grams
Spellbound (watched on a screener, actually)

Honorable mentions: Sylvia, Mystic River, Swimming Pool, Winged Migration, Pirates Of The Caribbean (Yum Depp), Whale Rider, Bubba Ho-Tep, Autofocus

Films I know I want to see that probably would have made the list: Irreversible, The Company, My Life Without Me, Shattered Glass, The Magdalene Sisters, Bend It Like Beckham, City Of God, The Fog Of War, and Capturing The Friedmans.

I am interested in seeing and have no idea what to expect: Lilya 4-Ever, Autumn Spring, Anna In Kungfu Land, In My Skin, Spider

I liked but don't care that much about: Master and Commander, Last Samurai

~Amelie, still having trouble putting the date on checks, La Bonne

3:04 PM

Monday, January 05, 2004  
so, I had a crazy vivid dream for the new year.

It's my standard: potty with no stall and no doors... so basically, in my dream/nightmare, I have giant diarrhea attacks on the only available potty in a very public place. Sometimes I'm nude. It's horrible. Usually, there's no toilet paper.

In this dream, I visited a bauble factory. Where they were making baubles and dorky things with lots of color. Little flippy weird things and ornaments. I have no idea what that's about, probably all the Xmas stuff (have you noticed valentine's day crud is already there? The stores put it out on New Year's Day) or something.

So, I ask to go to the restroom. I am directed by a matronly lady to a hallway. The bathroom she shows me is a stall. Behind the stall, three women are crouched on little kid toilets like the kind they have at preschool. There's a spiral staircase to an "upper stall". Women from up there call out that there's no room.

The matronly lady directs me down the hallway to another potty place, where my friend Heather is waiting to use it. I have no idea why she was in the dream, except that I'd seen her the night before. So, of course, all the potties are full, and I have to pee. Naturally, there's one toilet by the doorway (with no door) and it has no stall. Heather says she'll block the door.

Let's just say, in the dream I made a giant mess, and in real life I woke up terrified I'd made some business in my new bed.

Phew, no. Thank god.

This nightmare is recurrent and the theme is pretty constantly horrifying. I remember it started when I read "Farewell To Manzanar", which is about the Japanese internment camps by Tule Lake. The Japanese-American women had to potty over holes in a public space, and of course, they all had diarrhea from the crappy heavy "American" food. I am pretty certain that's where it started; after reading that passage sometime in 6th or 7th grade.

I've been told I'm obsessed with bodily functions. This is true. I'm definitely not Buddha or enlightened enough to ignore the bowels and the bladder. I so wish I could, but it's not happening.

And I'm really hating that it's taking over my dream state.

~Amelie, Have A Craptastic New Year!

1:14 PM

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